


Lifeline [Unbreakable]

by HansoldMySoul



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Friends relationship, Hardships, Jaeno, M/M, Minor Character Death, Mostly platatonic, Neglect, Some Angst towards the end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-30
Updated: 2016-08-30
Packaged: 2018-08-11 22:16:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7909663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HansoldMySoul/pseuds/HansoldMySoul
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For every moment that you stood by my side in silent support, I wish I could repay you in kind. </p><p>Jeno learns to smile when he meets somebody who finally sees him for who he really is. </p><p>[Platonic!Jaeno]</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lifeline [Unbreakable]

If ever there was a material possession that Lee Jeno wanted for in his life, it didn't stay that way for long because his parents sought to fill his every need using the power, influence and wealth afforded to them by their high ranking positions in society. He could ask for almost everything and guarantee that it wouldn't be too much, no matter how outlandish the request or how unnecessary the item he sought. It would have been all too easy for him to become enamoured with the glamorous lifestyle that was so ceremoniously dumped upon him, too easy to become the stereotypical rich kid that featured in the garish movies that played constantly in the home cinema. Jeno decided before he even hit his teens that he wasn't going to be that kid.

Instead of flashy gifts to parade in front of the children of his parents business associates, Jeno asked for books. The thing he really wanted was knowledge and that was something that no amount of money could buy him so he spent every spare moment reading. The subject didn't matter, he'd read about anything from physics to the language of flowers and everything in between because there was no subject that was beneath it above him so long as he had the desire to learn. 

As such, that day, so unremarkably like any other found Jeno in the library, thin rimmed glasses perched on the edge of his nose which was unsurprisingly buried in a thick tome. His pointer finger traced a line down the page so as not to lose his place in the tiny letters that formed tiny words and small eyes flickered backwards and forwards across the page, greedily absorbing the knowledge which it offered him appropriate child-like enthusiasm. In this one aspect of his life, sixteen year old Lee Jeno found passion and enjoyment. It wasn't happiness but it was the closest equivalent.

The spacious room, filled only with rows upon rows and stacks upon stacks of books was well lit by several large windows but the scenic beauty of the room went to waste as the only sound heard was the deep, even breathing of it's sole occupant.

Jeno's parents weren't even home often enough to eat dinner with him most days so it came as no surprise that nobody but him ever entered the room. In a way, it had become his safe haven because even though he rarely had demons to run from, he still enjoyed the quiet sanctuary of a space where he knew he was almost certain not to be disturbed.

The book he found his focus drawn too that day was a medical text, specifically a medical journal concerning paediatric ailments and their current and possible cures. It was fascinating to read but the limited information it provided made his lips turn down into a frown if distate. For something that was clearly such a big issue, there was a frustratingly small amount of effort going into research and trials to develop new cures. Briefly, his mind wandered to those who likely waited as though balanced on a tightrope for any new information but the thought was quickly chased away as his eye caught a secondary text which detailed optometry.

Outside, raindrops spattered against the chilled glass of the windows in a thankful reminder of why today's lunch meeting had been cancelled and the repetitive sound created a subdued symphony which easily faded into the background as Jeno's mind processed words and phrases faster than he could fully comprehend himself. It was days like that one on which Jeno felt most at peace. No duties to attend to, no guests to smile for and no facade to maintain so that everyone thought they were the perfect happy family. 

Jeno loved his parents, of course he did, but he was forever tired of pretending to be someone he wasn't when every fibre of his being screamed out against the action because the only thing Jeno ever felt that he'd achieved in his life was to become his own person, away from his parents guiding hands. To have that torn away from him, no matter how short the span of time, was something that he despised more than people assuming that he fit right in with the stereotype he'd tried so hard not to become. 

Something happened that day that had never happened before. While Jeno was lost in his book, mind a thousand miles away, two sturdy knocks rang out, echoing in the vast cavern of a room. Shocked, Jeno didn't react at first after all, nobody ever disturbed him when he was in the library. There was never anyone around to disturb him in the first place.

When he gave no audible sign of acknowledgement the visitor seemed to take it upon themselves to extend their own invitation into the room, the heavy door swinging open lazily and the person stepping fully into view for the first time. Above anything else, the thing that caught and held Jeno's attention were the strangers curious eyes. In those eyes he was sure he could see more depth of emotion than he'd seen from his parents.

The oh-so-interesting eyes were accompanied by slightly tanned skin and a mop of tousled chocolate hair which was all complemented by a toothy smile, mischevious and pulling at his lips hesitantly as though he knew that he may not be welcome in that particular room. Jeno watched--appraised his visitor, grateful that he didn't seem to have been spotted from his perch in the corner of the room as it gave him time to catalogue every feature and mannerism systematically, a habit that he'd never grown out of when meeting new people.

As distracted as he was, his grip on the heavy tome he'd been reading had loosened and the book fell to the floor with a heavy thud that not only startled Jeno but also drew the eyes of his curious guest to his prone form. Unsure of how to react but too enraptured to look away, Jeno locked eyes with the stranger and waited to see who would make the first move. Eyes that sparkled with mischief stared back in challenge or invitation, Jeno wasn't sure but it brought out the competitive element of his personality.

"You aren't allowed in here," Jeno asserted, letting every ounce of his entitled upbringing leak into his voice in hopes of wiping the self-assured smirk off the strangers face. He wasn't going to lose before he truly began, not when talking to someone he'd never even met before. 

"By who's order?" The boy questioned, his eyebrows raising in mock surrender while his tone of voice issued a clear challenge. He wanted Jeno to talk to him and he was getting exactly that because as mature as Jeno was, he always had to have the last word.

Relaxing, he let a lazy smirk overtake his features as he lounged back against the plush cushions of the chair, the air of power was all too easy to slip into convincingly.

"Mine of course, I do own this place after all."

For a second, Jeno swore he saw surprise on the boys face but it fell away, being quickly replaced with narrowed eyes and a downturned mouth. 

Idly, he catalogued how the boy looked better with a smile on his face and a cheeky glint in his eyes.

"A whole room owned by just yourself... Wow, things really are different for the wealthy. Well if you don't want me here I'll just take my leave." It would have been better if he'd sounded surprised but the bored expectance that coloured his tone caused a switch to flip inside Jeno. It'd been a fun game until feelings got involved but Jeno wasn't that person. He wasn't about to let this stranger leave believing that he thought so much of himself and so little of others.

"Wait! I mean-- just, don't leave..." His voice came out sounding more panicked than he'd intended and he knew he'd been played the second something in the boys eyes shifted and his arms crossed over his chest in a pose that could only be described at 'victorious'. He'd obviously been expecting that exact reaction and his amusement at the situation was palpable. With more confidence that Jeno could have guessed him to possess, he strode forward, throwing hinself down on the couch beside Jeno in a manner that screamed 'confortable and relaxed'.

"Who knew that you'd give so quickly," brown eyes glittered with mirth, "You are a curious one... I'm Na Jaemin, the ground keepers grandson." He extended his hand in greeting and Jeno took the cue to do the same. "I'm Lee Jeno, just Jeno is fine. This is my home.

"Ahh, the Young Master!" Jaemin crooned, dropping his hand back to his side and giving Jeno a very obvious once over. "Just as charming and handsome as the cooks claimed. Can your eyesmile really end wars and bring about world peace?" The notion was ridiculous and Jeno found himself nodding his head in acquisition, his eyes curving up into crescent moons as he smiled involuntarily, enjoying the company.

"Cute--" Jaemin muttered, seemingly not for Jeno's ears this time but still heard by him all the same. The comment only made him smile harder, reservations forgotten as he began to truly enjoy the company of another person for the first time.

"We could totally sell you to the government so they could use you as a bargaining tool for world peace!" Jaemin's tone was coloured with wonderment but the faces he pulled while speaking showed that he was having just as much fun as Jeno. It would have been too easy to become enraptured while watching those expressions and lose the steady composure he was known for. 

"Why haven't I seen you around before?" Jeno enquired, tugging the sleeves of his sweater down over his hands in a subconscious movement to ward off the chill that was beginning to take in the room. Jaemin's gaze flickered down, following the movement without making the conscious decision to do so and his hands reached out to pull Jeno's smaller ones into his grasp where he proceeded to try and warm them up by creating friction.

"My parents are busy so they sent me to live with grandfather. I only arrived yesterday and didn't really start looking around until today so you wouldn't have had a chance to see me around." The words were spoken as fact, with little emotional input but Jeno was simply surprised to hear no malice when Jaemin spoke about his parents being too busy to take care of him. He thought of his own resenmnet towards what he thought of as his parents failure at parenting.

"Where are you staying?" Jeno asked, not having really thought the words through before speaking them aloud but still curious to know the answer none the less. He'd finally found someone he found genuine pleasure in interacting with and he didn't want to let that go so soon if possible 

Jaemin's eyes crinkled at the quickfire question, pausing to blow on Jeno's hands which he still held between his own. "The left wing, second floor although I don't much like the amount of space I have to myself, it feels cold and empty. Like a house but not a home." For a moment Jeno was unable to catch Jaemin's gaze as the other boys eyes wandered across the vast stacks and shelves of books that surrounded them with something akin to nostalgia. 

Only when theirs eyes met once again did Jeno smile reassuringly, shifting to fold his legs underneath him and speaking words that he hoped he wouldn't later regret. "Give it time, we can work on turning it into home because home isn't a place, it's a feeling." For Jeno, that was maybe the most important thing he'd learned in his life and he was eager to pass that teaching on. 

"I'd like that," Jaemin murmured, eyelids drooping slightly as he reclined against the soft cushions and dropped his guard completely. "I think... I'd really... like that." 

All Jeno could do was smile in awe and genuine adoration as he watched someone that he'd known for only a handful of hours let their walls down around him. 

He stayed there that evening, books forgotten as he ran his fingers through soft brunette hair that rested on his lap, completely vulnerable and yet in the most basic state of relaxation. 

He must have fallen asleep at some point but when he woke, he was alone with a blanket draped loosely over him and a note with a smiley face at the end claiming that breakfast would be waiting for him when he finally decided to wake up. 

For Jeno, that day symobolised a lot of firsts. 

First real friend, first time losing, first time he craved someone's company and the first time he felt that someone truly cared for him in return.

It was a day that he wouldn't forget in a hurry but it would become on of few meagre memories that he had to hold onto when the end of the dream came. 

•

"Jenooooo!" a loud voice called out, disregarding any common courtesy as its owner burst through the previously closed greenhouse doors with enough flourish to suggest he was entering a party as its guest of honour. Jaemin wasted no time in marching towards him, dodging low-hanging branches and precariously balanced flowerpots with ease only afforded to someone who'd done so many times in the past. The slightly younger boy was sporting a very obvious pout, a scarf tied around his neck which looked ridiculous for the middle on April when the sun was shining brightly but nonplussed by the absurdity of it. 

Jaemin huffed, finally reaching the row of petunias that Jeno had been watering and planting himself firmly in front of the oldest boy so as to commandeer every last bit of his attention. "I can't believe you ditched! We worked so hard on that surprise party and you completely ignored the request to even meet us in the main room. It's not everyday you turn seventeen!" With every word Jaemin's tone became whinier, rising in pitch and volume but Jeno's only reaction was a raised eyebrow and the corner of his lips tipping upwards slightly into a pseudo-smirk.

"I told you I didn't want to celebrate. Did you really think I believed you when you said you couldn't hang out because you had homework? You're about as subtle as a metal enthusiast at a Mozart convention." The words slipped out in a teasing tone, creating an easy banter that came to them with so little effort despite the short months they'd known each other.

Jaemin attempted to look offended but the laugh he was supressing broke through within seconds, his shoulders vibrating with the strength of the chuckles that spread to his companion within moments. 

"Jae..." Jeno trailed off when the chuckles finally faded into stuttered breaths and knowing looks. "My parents are in there right?" For most children that would have been a good thing but Jeno's tone and expression spoke volumes about his opinion on that idea.

Jaemin turned his head slightly, feigning interest in a plot of well pruned lillies so that he would have to meet his friends gaze. It didn't take a genius to know what he would see there, they'd spoken about what parents meant to them many times before after all. For all that Jaemin tried to understand Jeno's feverent and unrelenting dislike towards the people that had raised him, his mind refused to comprehend the notion. He could sympathise in the fact that his parents were often much too busy to pay him any mind but Jaemin loved his parents because he knew that they only worked as hard as they did so that he could lead a good life. As much as Jeno saw the fruits of his parents hard work everyday, he lacked that same admiration or thankfullness that pulsed through Jaemin like a life-force.

"They love you... It's been so long since they've seen you." Jaemin murmured by way of explanation but it sounded weak to his own ears. The light atmosphere created by their easy banter just minutes before had all but evaporated, being all too quickly replaced with the somber air that lingered whenever their conversations wandered into this territory.

And as much as Jaemin wanted Jeno to finally realize the point he was trying to make, he loathed to bring up the topic too often because he didn't want to be the cause of the sad and vague look that his best friend now sported.

Jeno finally placed the watering can on a bench to his right and began idly playing with his fingers, a habit, Jaemin had noticed that he did when he was nervous or upset. "They-- I think they love the idea of being the perfect family. The public views us as this strong family unit with unbreakable bonds and nothing short of the perfect, white-picket-fence life." He stated firmly, eyes downcast in an attempt to hide the tears that showed in his wobbly voice and the way his shoulders shook slightly.

"Somehow... Along the way- they forgot that they really needed to be there in order for the our perfect life to work." 

In that moment, when Jaemin saw the first year fall and land on the concrete floor of the greenhouse, did he regret bringing up the issue. It was as natural as breathing to close the gap between them, pulling Jeno against him in an embrace that allowed him to feel the shaking of his shoulders as he cried much more readily.

"Sorry," he whispered while pulling the distressed boy closer to himself, hoping to provide even a margin of the comfort that he was trying to convey. Unbidden, arms wrapped around his thin waist in response as Jeno buried his face in Jaemin's shoulder and readily allowed himself to soak up the genuine comfort that had been denied to him through his childhood.

"I know-- I know that I'm being childish. Not allowing someone to fix their past mistakes when they're honestly trying..." The words came out broken and rushed as he tried to explain around the tears which were still caught in his throat. "but it just hurts so much. Why am I suddenly good enough only now?" For all that he knew Jeno, Jaemin never once realised how deep his sense of lacking ran. Jeno had always seemed like a confident teen, the first to speak out and always first to defend the things he believed in. Why didn't he believe in himself a little more?

"Maybe another day. Today is supposed to be about you, not facing hardships." Jaemin ran his fingers through Jeno's hair, an act he remembered bringing him peace on the very first day they met. 

"Thank you," Jeno sniffled and Jaemin dared to hope that maybe he didn't sound quite as broken as before.

"Don't mention it," he replied, because really, he'd do it again in a heartbeat. 

•

Jeno was eighteen when it felt like his life was falling apart at the seams.

The day he was informed that his parents had passed away in a car accident would forever be catalogued in his overactive brain as one of the most horrifying things he ever had to endure.

Sure, Jeno had never really been close to his parents but he'd hoped that one day he'd have the chance to fix that. Within hours that day, he relived every scornful comment he'd made towards them, everytime he'd refused to see them out of his own petulant dislike and a childish grudge that he refused to relinquish. He tore himself apart thinking about the 'what ifs' and refused to let anyone close because in his mind, he didn't deserve any of the comfort that they would likely try to provide.

It was in those moments that he expected Jaemin to turn around and say "I told you so," but he never did, only watching from afar with sad eyes as Jeno slowly destroyed himself over an issue that he'd never have the chance fix now. For everytime he wished that he'd had the courage to reconcile, he thought that maybe the light in Jaemin's eyes got a little dimmer.

"You need to stop this," he said one day, breaking the silent vigil he'd held over all their meetings since the accident. "You aren't living and it hurts to watch..." and maybe Jeno would have ignored it but there were tears in Jaemin's eyes and he had his arms wrapped around himself and Jeno got the distinct impression that he was trying extremely hard to hold himself together for both of their sakes. For someone who'd always been so cheerful, an anchor when times were hard, watching him fall apart now was scary and heartbreaking all at once. 

"I'm not sure I know how to do that," Jeno stated flatly, letting his eyes dart around the room in which he'd torn the paintings off the walls and thrown things from their designated places just hours before. Anger had been an unexpected outlet for the pent up emotion but his heart ached now as he caught the vase of flowers he'd carelessly knocked to the ground out of the corner of his eye. They weren't anything special but Jeno remembered the look on his mother's face when he'd begrudgingly given them to her for mothers day. 

Everything was wrong now. 

"I want to help... but you need to let me." Jaemin breathed deeply, standing and closing the distance between them for the first time since everything had gone to hell. This time, Jeno didn't flinch away and attempt to run when Jaemin extended his upturned palm in a silent offering of comfort. He couldn't find the words to explain that Jaemin had been a comfort just for being there, how everything would have been so much worse if he'd had to go through it all without the other by his side representing the strength that he lacked at that time.

"I always seem to be saying thank you to you," he mused in as light hearted a tone as he could manage and his efforts were rewarded by small smile that Jaemin have in return.

"And I always tell you how unnecessary it is but you never seem to listen." The subtle jibe served its purpose in lightening the mood, Jaemin finally closing the gap completely and swinging his arm over Jeno's shoulder."I think we should get out of here for a bit, what do you say?" He inquired, aiming guide them away from the room which still showed clear reminders of grief and loss so that the staff would have a chance to clean it up.

"I suppose that doesn't sound like a bad idea. Do you think Mark would mind of we dropped round for a while?" Jeno was obviously aware of the diversionary tactic but he thankfully didn't fight it. 

"I think he'd be delighted to see us!" Jaemin exclaimed, easily steering them out the door, only giving pause so that they could slip on their shoes in the foyer.

•

For Jeno, the best thing that ever happened to him came in the form of a stranger that refused to just walk away and let him continue being alone. Through every bad moment of his life, that person became a lifeline, so unwilling to ever leave or treat it as a burden. 

For Jaemin, moving away from his parents went from being one of the worst ideas in his life to the very best all because of a lonely boy, too lost in his books to really see what was going on around him. A friend, an anchor, an example. 

Between them was a bond, tested by time and hardship but able to withstand it. They liked to think that maybe itvwas unbreakable.

**Author's Note:**

> Another Jaeno from me, A little angst but mostly just platonic friendship.
> 
> Comments and kudos are always appreciated!~
> 
> Find me @HansoldMS_Twt


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